T'Challa and Shuri's Unforgettable Luncheon
by MysteryWriter2187
Summary: One-shot - minor spoilers for Black Panther. T'Challa visits Shuri to see how well his sister can cook without using her advanced Wakandan technology. Based on the classic Simpsons sketch.


**Oakland - Wakandan Outreach Centre**

 ** _DING-DONG!_** Shuri heard the door from the kitchen, keeping on her Wakandan-stitched apron as she ran to answer it. She grinned as she looked through the peep-hole, seeing T'Challa standing on the other side. She opened it and bowed sarcastically, saying "my king..."

"Come on... stop it..." T'Challa complained affectionately as they completed their secret handshake. He grinned, holding up the poorly-written map she had given him as he said "well, sister. I have made it in time, despite your... less-than-comprehensible directions to finding which one of these apartments is yours..."

"Well then, what are you waiting for? Come on in." Shuri answered, keeping a grin on her face as T'Challa slowly walked past her and into the dining room. She kept her hands behind her back as she pointed to the small, circular table in front of them, saying "well brother... I hope your stomach's empty so you're prepared for what I've done for you... ha ha..."

"Uh-huh... I've been looking forward to it." T'Challa answered as he placed the white wine bottle in the cooler on the small, circular table. Shuri slowly walked past her brother to the door that led to the kitchen, clearing her throat again as she said "well... it should be nearly ready now..."

T'Challa heard his wrist-communicator, looking down to it and groaning as he said "ah... _Everett Ross..._ Shuri, I just need to take this call..."

"Oh, no worry. No worry at all, brother..." Shuri said. "I'll just sort the lunch..."

As T'Challa turned to the communicator and began his conversation with their CIA ally, Shuri opened the door behind her and went into the kitchen, seeing the thick cloud of black smoke emanating from the oven in the corner of the room. _Ffffff... crck-crck... fffff... **"AGH!"**_

Without T'Challa noticing, Shuri quickly threw the door shut behind her and ran to the oven, nearly singeing her hand as she opened it to see the flaming, burnt-black ham that was sitting in the oven in front of her. **_"Oh, for Bast's sake!"_** she wailed as she slammed the oven shut, the smoke still spilling out through the top as she quickly got to her feet, nearly pulling her hair out with the stress.

"My roast is _**ruined!**_ What am I going to do?!"

Suddenly, she heard voices outside the window, rushing to it to see the children walking chatting outside the Burger King across the street. She briefly stopped to think, as a plan came into her head. _What if I were to buy that... and then disguise it as my own cooking?..._ "ha ha ha... oh, that'd be so devilish... ha ha..."

She quickly tossed off her apron, throwing it on the still flaming oven as she pulled the window open and put her leg through it. _"Alright, Shuri. Sorry I had to take that. Ross just wanted to..."_ T'Challa came in suddenly, staring wide-eyed as he saw what his sister was doing.

"Oh, _**brother! Hi!**_ I was, um..." Shuri tried to think of an excuse, before extending her leg fully as she added "I was just stretching my calves on the windowsill... you know... isometric exercise..."

T'Challa raised an eyebrow as he watched Shuri, the latter grinning nervously as she said "would you like to join me?"

"Um... I'll pass..." T'Challa said, before turning to see the oven. "Shuri, should that smoke be coming out of there?"

Shuri paused briefly, before realising what he said as she said " _ **oh!**_ Yes, um... that's not smoke, it's... it's... it's **_steam!_** Yes... steam, from the steamed clams we're going to be having."

Her brother seemed unconvinced, but Shuri still kept up her facade, rubbing her belly and saying " _mmmmmm..._ steamed clams..."

T'Challa shrugged as he went back into the dining room, closing the door behind him. Feeling that she had succeeded, Shuri wiped the sweat off her brow as she leapt out the window, making a superhero landing on the floor as she quickly rushed over the basketball court to the _Burger King_.

* * *

T'Challa was sitting on the table still, jolting suddenly as Shuri opened the door holding a silver platter in her arms. "Well, T'Challa. I hope you're ready for some mouthwatering hamburgers!"

He raised an eyebrow again as he said "hamburgers? Shuri, I thought you said we were having steamed clams?"

"Wait, wh... **oh, no!** No, I um... I said steamed **hams**... you see, that's what I call hamburgers now." Shuri lied as she sat down at the table, placing the platter in the centre of it. T'Challa was still not convinced, opening the wine as he said "you've started calling hamburgers steamed hams?"

"Um... yes. You see, it's an American dialect..." Shuri said as T'Challa poured them both a glass, responding with "well, Shuri... Baba and I went to America many times and... and I don't think I've ever heard anyone call a hamburger a... a _steamed ham_..."

"Oh... well, it's mostly an Oakland expression, then... the kids call them that all the time..." Shuri said, as T'Challa seemed to finally believe her, saying "ah... I see..."

As T'Challa took the first bite, Shuri nearly downed her entire glass and looked back to see what he thought. As he swallowed it, he said "hm... you know, sister... this hamburger is quite similar to the ones they have at um... I believe it is from _Burger King_... in fact, I think there's one on..."

"Oh, ha ha ha... no, no... they're classic Oakland-style burgers..." Shuri said nervously as she began eating one herself, still having in her mouth as she added "hm... old... old traditional recipe..."

"For steamed hams..." T'Challa said in a deadpan tone as he took the top half of the bun off his burger. Shuri grinned still, saying "yes!"

"Right, yes..." T'Challa said. "And you call them **steamed** despite the fact that these are obviously **grilled**..."

Shuri's eyes widened as her jaw dropped. _Ffffff... crck-crck... fffff..._ "Well..." _Ffffff... crck-crck... fffff..._ "I, um..." _Ffffff... crck-crck... fffff..._ "Uh..." _Ffffff... crck-crck... fffff..._ "One thing I should..." _Ffffff... crck-crck... fffff..._ "Ugh... excuse me for a second, brother..."

"Yes, of course..." T'Challa said as she went back into the kitchen. He continued eating while pondering the familiarity of the food, before she suddenly came back in yawning loudly. " **Wwweeeeeeeelll...** that was wonderful, T'Challa... I think it's time we wrapped things up, eh?"

T'Challa cleared his throat as he stood up, saying "yes, I suppose I ought to... _**SHURI! WHAT IN THE NAME OF BAST IS GOING ON IN THERE?!**_..."

Shuri's eyes stayed wide as she turned slowly to see the slightly ajar kitchen door behind her, which were enlightened by the waving red and gold flames from the other side. "Oh... it is um... ugh... it's Aurora Borealis?..."

"Aurora Borea... Shuri..." T'Challa said, with a tone of voice that suggested he had all but given up on her words. "Aurora Borealis... in early May... in the middle of the day... in Oakland and California, is happening entirely in that kitchen behind you there?"

Shuri paused for a moment, before saying "yes..."

"Well... can I at least see it?"

"...No..."

* * *

T'Challa walked out of the door of the apartment with Shuri following him. Suddenly, they heard one of the children down the hall, shrieking out loudly. **_"HELP! SHURI, HELP! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! HELP!"_**

T'Challa was about to go towards the voice to help, but Shuri held her brother's chest to stop him from going towards it, loudly shouting out **_"NO CHILDREN, DON'T WORRY! IT IS JUST THE NORTHERN LIGHTS!"_**

She was still breathing heavily as she turned back to her brother, who said "well, Shuri... this was a strange meal, but... _you steam good ham_..."

"Glad to hear you liked it, brother." Shuri said as she wrapped her arms around him, T'Challa warmly returning the embrace before he walked down the stairs to the exit. He looked back as he heard the children screaming again. **_"HELP! HEEEEEEELP!"_**

Shuri put her thumbs up with a grin forced onto her face. T'Challa smiled back as he walked down the stairs and left the building. He groaned as he walked out onto the basketball court, looking up to see the red illuminated curtains of Shuri's kitchen. T'Challa looked to his wrist-communicator, pressing it as he said "Okoye."

 _"Ah, my king... did you enjoy your meal?"_

"Hm..." T'Challa chuckled, before saying "yes, I did. It was a pleasant experience, to say the least. Just bring the car around... and maybe call for a fire engine as well..."


End file.
